A Girl

Starting at a very young age, people ask, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” I can’t remember ever having an answer for that. I don’t remember thinking, a veterinarian or a teacher or an astronaut. I didn’t have dreams of becoming an actress or a nurse or a lawyer. It took me a while to realize the reason I could never come up with an answer for what is usually a pretty defining question is because I never thought I could answer with, “Just let me BE. I want to be free!”

The one thing that I have always wanted to do is…. whatever I want! I’m aware this may conjure up images of Cartman or a stubborn child but my desire to do whatever I want actually runs quite a bit deeper. I have been an incredibly willful soul for as long as I can remember, making authority a hard thing for me to cope with. I’ve always had strong opinions and ideas that never seemed to match up with the masses. I’ve never desired the things that the vast majority of Americans work for. Big house? No thanks. Fancy car with all the bells and whistles? More stuff to break if you ask me. Expensive clothes with the name strewn across the chest? Not my style.

I have never understood why people have lives filled almost solely with things they have to do. Shouldn’t we mostly be doing things we want to do? Wouldn’t that make us happier? And if we we’re happier, wouldn’t that make us better humans? Isn’t that what life is about? Finding happiness and being the best version of yourself? Why do we live to please other’s expectations that are based off of what society decides is “right”? We are all way too different to be able to fit into a predetermined template. I believe the things that you are drawn to, the things you want to do, are part of your purpose. It’s our responsibility to honor them and not just do what we’re told (yes, my parents had a helluva time with me).

So now that I’ve figured out that what I want to be when I grow up is Free, I have started to get to work. I decided to break away from the last bit of societal constraints I had allowed in my life. I decided I would indulge that strong will of mine and see where it takes me! My goals for this new chapter of my life is to live as simply as possible and find out how much fuller that makes my life. To embrace the unknown, to not let fear hold me back and to find things in me I didn’t know I had. I want to honor my truth and live as authentically as possible. I want to BE. Join me?

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